Z Fila /

“After two attempts of suicide, a rehab trip and over a decade of therapy, I decided to forgive my parents for not accepting my sexualty. i forgive them, however, resent the christian faith because it robbed me of my parents. 

It still bothers me at times when i hear happy come-out stories. but, i had to make peace with the fact that ‘not all stories are the same,’ and infact, am in a better relationship with my parents now even though they live in ignorance – hey, it works for them, and i have been in no brik to kill myslef becuase i feel rejected. I have accepeted that i would never be able to share my heartache stories with my mom, or ask my dad for relationship advice. i have actually chosen a few friends as family. I am happy in sorrow, they are happy in ignorance. 

we are no longer fighting. so hey, why not.

maybe after a few years of therapy i can be in a meaningful relationship with someone that can understand that i could never introduce them to my parents, and that my parents would never attend my wedding and that is absolutely ok with me. it is not their fault. it is how they grew up, it is how their faith programmed them. i may not be the son they wanted but am the only son they have and love more than anything, that’s what they told me every time we went to therapy.

accepting myself and the things i can not change has been the greatest thing i have done for myself.”

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