Nurlan / Russia
“Hello. I’m Nurlan from Russia, st.Petersburg. I’m 20 y.o. I live in muslim family. My dad hitted and humiliated me when I was a child, but he do.it even now. He broke my mom’s nose in front of me and my little sister. He is very dangerous and creepy.
I prefer boys, but there something else..when I look in the mirror I don’t like how I look, I don’t like the hair on my face,body, I hate sport, I don’t have male friends and I use make up. I don’t love myself, but I must live no matter how hard it is for me, I try to live full life as hard as I can.
Of course others ‘normal’ people bullying me in my everyday life. I live in fear. I can’t be myself in My family, I fear and hate my father…but I try to live, we have only one life unfortunately,but it’s scares me so much because then more I live then more I understand that I’m not enjoying my life,it’s not my life it’s.someone else life,I hate myself, I hope that someday I will live the life I always wanted to life in safe place with kind people…”
6 comments on “Nurlan”
I wish I could help you. But you are afraid to confess me…why?I was your friend from childhood…. I’m not judging you. No one can judge you. Please be strong
I wish peace and happiness in your heart and in your whole life. I hope this situation will be resolved as quickly as possible. Be too happy. Sending love, of Brazil, for you.
I love you..my husband loves you..we all love yoU..Nurlan yoU matter you are a beAutiful soUl …it hurts my heart to see you feeling this way wish we could help you…..
My heart and blessings go out to you! May you be filled with loving kindness, and be blessed with peeace in your heart. I hope your situation does get better. We are with you. Sending you love from Los Angeles, California, USa
The saddest part is to know that Nurlan is one of many people that still go through that.
I’m just happy that you’re still alive, surviving and trying to cope with all that has happened.
Your story has touched me deeply, it reminds me of my old self and myself today—not being comfortable in your own body, hating your appearance and a family member that is supposed to love you no matter what—I’ve been able to overcome some of these things, but sometimes I feel as if I’m not living my own life, and just like you said “we have only one life unfortunately”.
I wish that one day you be able to look in the mirror and love everything you see—you might not see it now, but you are beautiful, from head to toe, inside and outside—, that you get to live your own life, surrounded by people who love you.
Sending you lots of love,
NURlan, you are a beautiful individual! Dont listen to all the bullshit people say about you. You are not nothing! You are special! If people dont realiZe that then tHey are bullshit peOple. Please Dont do anything youll RegRet. HaNg in there. My country Gay marriage is allowed. I hope your country will Do the same one day. Be strong. Sending lots Of love from America.