Nenad / Serbia
“Growing up was really hard for me since the moment I was born. When I was a young kid people would always make fun of me because I was playing with dolls, dancing, singing, using makeup etc (not interested in sports and ‘masculine’ stuff) . I was always the main target both in my primary and high school. First they labeld me as a sissy, then I became a girlsh boy, then a faggot. Teachers in school were also homophobic. They didn’t want to play or hangout with me because I was feminine and too weird for them. In my primary school I was bullied almost every fucking day and I was beaten several times.
Whenever I asked for help, they always told me – you are the problem – ‘you are not acting straight, you are like a woman’ (like its a shame to be a woman?) or ‘Get away out of here, you are dressing too flamboyant, go kill yourself faggot!’ (who the hell divided those gender roles whats manly/femine,how we should dress etc?). No one wanted to help. No one gave a shit. I had poor self esteem. I felt into depression. I was always feeling crucified in between who I am really and on the other side how should I act. Even those who helped me from time to time, they would also be labeled and attacked.
I had to hide. I had to keep it like a secret. I wasn’t allowed to express myself. I wasn’t allowed to talk that I’m having a boyfriend. I couldn’t hold his hand. We could only see each other secretly in the late night.
Situation in Serbia is still really bad. Homophobia is still very high and present among the public, for example you are not allowed to kiss your boyfriend outside. People still don’t want to see their male kids playing with dolls. Parents hardly accept their kids being gay. However on the other hand, there are signs of better future. We had a few succesfull parades in the past years led by LGBT activists, so I think that there will be sunlight for us in the very end. We have to defeat both homophobia and femiphobia.
After all that happened, I still managed my way to become an artist. As the years passed, I saw striking similarities with my life and the story of the Jesus and the Apostoles. Gay men are always the biggest problem and they are always getting mocked by the society, especially the femine ones. The photos you see, are an original artwork by me – and yep, its me being crucified. I had to this – for my own liberation and for all the lgbt community across the globe.
On the other hand, I’m not very religious person, however:
The story of the Jesus is telling us that first they didn’t belive in him, he had to hide and do everything secretly, then they hated him, and finally crucified him, but in the very end the Jesus won and the whole world accepted him.
Whether you are religious or not, it will be the same with us, we have to believe in ourselves and stay strong together. We will win. We will be free. We will dominate the world like Jesus and the Apostoles did in the end.
More of my works: