Saare /

“‘From where shall I begin my story and how I do know’ if I recall my past I had a beautiful childhood even though it was bit painful. Those days My brothers  were playing with bat and ball myself I used to play with flowers and glass bangles. Because of my feminine nature neither my father nor my brothers took me out along with them. Initially my brothers used to say me to behave like boy ‘why you laugh and walk like girls’ this was the common sentence I used hear for my family n relative and outsiders also. Because to avoid this words from others I was not attending any occasions neither my family forced me to day when I was 11 years old in our village fare my uncle made fun of me while I was eating in front of all the guest I could not control my tears I left the place without completing my lunch and the cried n cried and I myself blamed for not behaving like boy.

Next day when I was returning from school my brothers friends

Kidnapped me and sexually assaulted me and I didn’t told anyone because they told me that they will kill me if I say anyone. After this I was afraid to go out alone. All my friends were girls  and I used to play with them all girls activities and I started to talk with my neighbor’s son who came from other provinces after his graduation and he used to take me to his room to say ghost stories but one day he sexually assaulted me after that he did this things almost everyday initially I was scared of my family later he said me that he love me he will be with me forever so I was doing everything as he says. But after 7 years he got married I still remember he called to his house after his marriage also but I didn’t go. Due to this he told my father about my gay life my father got anger and tried to stab me while I was sleeping luckily I was recovered from the head injury

So many things happened but nothing stopped me to pursue my nursing degree. So many job was not offered just because I have femininity luckily I got one job near to my house on my date of joining my brothers stopped on the way and took my certificates so that I will not Adobe to join

But nursing supervisor was very supportive so she asked to join the work. As days passed my father n brothers started to talk n I was happy but happiness didn’t last a year they just wanted to take my sign on wills saying I will not get any of my forefathers properties still I didn’t fight or not complained anyone

Even though I was devastated with my father n brothers still I was living my life busy with work but one of senior professor raped me when I tried to stop he hit me on my head after 3 days I got my consciousness

I realized I am in icu but hospital supported professor not me

I lost legal battles

My father got stroke after he knew my rape issue n my brothers torn my certificate n throw me out house

After a month my father expired but no body informed after many days I went to my house but I was stopped by my brothers

Then I decided to commit suicide but I was afraid so I joined charity house for old age people.. currently I have no family no job no house.. temporarily I work in mall as janitor

still I am not safe many men still misbehave with me some for fun some for their pleasures. But luckily after my rape incident I was not sexually assaulted. People should understand I am feminine in nature but that doesn’t mean I allow men to have sex.. still I have dream I have to pursue Master in Nursing and move to some other country where people accept my reality .. in India people are changing their approach towards homosexuals are changing I always wish to stay in my hometown but it will be hard for my family to accept my reality so it better to move to other country.”


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