33 year old A.K. (name withheld) has been attracted to women since she was young. When she was in junior high she had sex with a female domestic worker employed by her family. The woman blackmailed A.K. Eventually her parents found out they’d been intimate. Since then she’s hidden her sexuality and taken steps to make sure her family does not suspect she’s attracted to women. She is now in a heterosexual marriage. Neither her family nor her husband know about her sexuality. “…before I got married, I stayed out, I stayed back from having sexual intercourse with my fellow woman, and I thought that was me. When only I was deceiving myself. Then after a year I met someone, and I was like, that is when I discovered who I am. So for like three years now, that is when I discover, I discovered the real me, yes. But I won't deny that I love my husband that I'm staying with. And the woman that I also have sexual intercourse with, I also love her. I don't know, I just love them both. So I know I am, I won't say it's a mistake”.” Ghana. 07 March, 2018. Photo Robin Hammond/Witness Change

A.K. /

“When I was growing up, I knew I had feelings for my fellow women, but I thought I was the only one in the world who had such feelings. During my lower primary days, I had sexual intercourse with my mate. By using our fingers to insert into our vagina. Which we both enjoyed it. While we did it continuously, we didn’t know what it means. So after I entered junior high, I just decided to put a stop to that kind of sexual practice. Until I get to senior high. And I then had sexual intercourse with our house help, which we both enjoyed and it continued for some period of months, but we never dated. She then began to blackmail me to my parents and siblings. So I decided to crawl into my shell forever.

But as a bisexual woman, that’s something I felt within, and I can’t hide forever. So I stayed off women and decided to date men. Throughout from SHS to university, I never had anything do with my fellow women. After university, I got married to a heterosexual man whom I’m living with as my spouse. But most times, I feel for a woman and I most times, a woman to satisfy myself. I am married for three years, and I have never come out to my family or my husband.”

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