Buje / Nigeria
“When I was 19 years old my mother caught me having sex with my friend. She called my brothers and sisters. She told them. Since then, I became different in the family. My brothers started showing me hatred and discrimination. After then my family called me to have a meeting about me. When I came and sat at the meeting I feel I should just kill myself. I started regretting and crying. I started pleading and begging them. I felt as if I don’t exist.
After some months after that incident another relevant issue happened again and lead me to the prison. Then I saw the greatest humiliation in my life. I started praying that God should take my life so that I can rest because of the difficulties and maltreatment I faced in the prison from the prison warders. They asked us to carry faeces and wash plates and clothes and showed us hatred. If I pass by the cell they will be saying “this is that Gay person that fucks men.” Everyday I cried.
After I came out of the prison my family rejected me. Then I entered another serious problem. Everyday I prayed that God would take my life so I could rest. It was hard but after some time my family accepted me but still didn’t treat me like a family member. They didn’t give me food. And when I was sick no one cared for me. They were saying to me “God should take your life away so that everyone will have peace because you have caused such shame to our family”.
After I recovered from being sick I came to someone who washes cars behind my street for a job. A week later the people in my area met the person who runs the car wash and asked him to send me away from the place. He didn’t have an option but to send me away. I became nothing, and nobody. No studies, no food.
Any time I remember my family and my mother, the hate they have for me, I will just be crying, I want to die. I came back to Jos after a week to stay with my friend. The family of my friend said I should leave their house. I became homeless, had no family, nothing. It became difficult for me.
There is no end to this suffering, until God wills it. But for now I am thinking even if it is house help I can do for work, so I can just get a place to stay, and something to eat. Just until my parents will understand and accept me like before.”
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