Rodrigo / Uruguay
“I GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN IN THE NORTH OF URUGUAY, MY MOTHER USED TO TAKE ME TO CHURCH since I WAS 8 YEARS OLD AND FROM THAT MOMENT I LEARNED THAT BEING GAY WAS WRONG AND CAUSED BY A DEMON.
WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD THE SUFFERING BEGAN, I HATED MYSELF SO MUCH FOR BEING AN ABOMINATION THAT I CRIED ALMOST EVERY DAY, I LOOKED AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND I ONLY HAD AWFUL WORDS TO DESCRIBE MYSELF. FUNNY I DIDN’T KNEW I WAS GAY, BUT I LIKED BOYS, SO I WAS AN ABOMINATION. I WAS 12 YEARS OLD AND THE ONLY WORD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF I HAD WAS: ABOMINATION.
FOR 3 YEARS I ENDURED THE IDEA I WAS POSSESSED, THAT I WAS MISTAKE AND I prayed every night begging God to cure me. FOR 3 YEARS I FOUGHT MY TRUE SELF. FOR 3 YEARS I THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE AND TWICE I REALLY CONSIDERED DOING IT BECAUSE THE PAIN WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I WAS ONLY A KID, BUT ALREADY AT THAT POINT SOCIETY PUt ME THROUGH HELL JUST FOR EXISTING. I DIDN’T HAVE MUCH FRIENDS, IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD almost EVERYone hated me, AND ONE TIME SOME KIDS THREW ROCKS AT ME FOR BEING THE “MARICA” OF THE TOWN.
THE DAY I TOLD MY FATHER I WAS GAY WAS ONE OF THE WORSTS DAYS OF MY LIFE. HE SAID I COULDN’T BE GAY, THAT I WAS WRONG AND THE SOLUTION FOR ME WAS TO HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE, TO LAY DOWN WITH A WOMAN SO I COULD “STOP BEING GAY”, BECAUSE THAT WAS EMBARRASSING. HE said HE WISHED I HAD NEVER BORN. I WAS 15. THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME GOING WAS MY FRIENDS AND A FACEBOOK GROUP I CREATED A YEAR EARLIER with LGBT KIDS FROM ALL OVER SOUTH AMERICA. We SHARED OUR EXPERIENCES AND TALKED ABOUT WHAT WE WERE GOING THROUGH WITH OUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS. SHARING WHAT WE EXPERIENCED HELPED US, WE FOUND STRENGTH IN UNITY TO FACE LGBTHATE, AND WE DID IT.
URUGUAY IS KNOWN FOR ITS PROGRESSIVE LGBT AGENDA, BUT WE STILL HAVE A HUGE DEBT IN THIS MATTER, MAINLY WITH OUR TRANS COMMUNITY. LGBTHATE NEVER LEFT THIS COUNTRY, IT’S ONLY WAITING FOR A MORE INSECURE ENVIRONMENT TO RISE AGAIN, AND NOW WITH A recently elected VERY CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT WE FEAR THIS COULD HAPPEN. TO FACE THAT, HERE AND ALL OVER THE WORLD, WE MUST FOUND STRENGTH IN UNITY AND LOVE, SPEAKING UP FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T AND TELLING OUR STORIES, FIGHTING HATE IN EVERY OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE. AND NEVER FORGET: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”
