Kiran / India
“As a child, I never felt comfortable wearing boy clothes for school. Honestly, I would have rather been naked than wear men’s clothes. My feminine mannerisms caught the attention of my entire school because of which I got bullied repeatedly. I’d find obscene drawings on my desk or get pieces of paper thrown at me with filthy things written on them. Once I was cornered in the bathroom by a bunch of boys who asked me to strip naked for them. Initially when I started getting attracted to men, I couldn’t understand it and I had no one to talk to about it. I did not know anything about sexuality. It wasn’t easy at home either. My father was always critical of me and constantly compared me to my brothers. I felt like a misfit at my school and in my family. I chose to stay isolated. I failed my 12th board exams. It became unbearable for me to continue living at home. I left my family and started looking for jobs so that I could live independently. I worked for a brief time at a hotel, from where I got fired because the director was of the opinion that my behavior and ‘sexuality’ was making the other staff uncomfortable. At this point in my life, I knew that I wanted to be a woman and I felt trapped in a man’s body. Around the same time, I fell in love with an Army man, who bought me a flight ticket to Delhi. I simply followed him with the hope that maybe things would be different with him. But my boyfriend abandoned me and left me to pay the house rent on my own. I was offered to work as a sex worker or ask for money at traffic signals but I refused. When I went for job interviews, people would ask for my ID, notice the gender and stare at me. No one wanted me as a tenant because they perceived me as a bad influence, a threat to family and children. Some of my friends spoke about NGOs that supported transgender people. That’s how I came across Naz Foundation. Initially, I just went to Naz for support group meetings or to read at their library. Later, I found out about a vacancy for an outreach worker at Naz so I applied for the job, gave an interview and got selected! I have not looked back since then. I have conducted trainings sessions on sexuality and sexual health with doctors, institutions, corporates, colleges, and the Delhi and Rajasthan police force. Today, if someone makes rude remarks at me, I confront them and stand up for myself.”
