“As a child I always felt there was something in me I could not share. Living in NY and coming from parents who were homophobic, and being catholic I guess made life a little difficult. Being a tom boy my mother would say she’s going to be like that when she grows up (in Spanish). My family new I was different than my siblings hearing my mom saying that all time, I guess as a child I felt there was something wrong with me. I would have nightmares. I guess I was in hell or would go to hell because deep down I know I was gay. At that time of my life I didn’t even know about being gay. But a mother know her child. Grow up always being attracted to girls, but at age 20 got married had 3 kids. But always knew this was something missing. I came out in my early 40s to a friend, what a relief I felt. After that I told my sisters, one of them prayed that I wouldn’t be gay.

At 45 I had my first relationship with a younger women then I knew was missing. I was always afraid to come out. I stood in my marriage in fear. But in 94 one of my son past away. I realized how short life could me, so he gave me the courage to be myself and asked my husband for a divorce.

I might have done that but because of my son It made me stronger. There is a song that say what doesn’t kill you made you stronger. That was time for me. I am really out and I really like myself. In the past I didn’t. I believe everything happens for a reason. Even thought I would rather have been unhappy in my marriage than lose my son. But I’m living my life as I always wanted. Since I was 5 years old. It’s been 24 years that I really outed myself. I’m very happy with that. I try not to make peoples problems mine… live and let live I say.”

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