Ershiya / Iran
“When I was a child I always loved some of my teachers. All of them were women. I thought it’s just the process of growth to emotionally be mature but it wasn’t! I had relationships with boys, some of them lasted for years, but something wasn’t right! Something that I couldn’t recognize. I couldn’t feel desire, safety, protection, attraction, and specifically LOVE!
At age 18, I made a significant alteration in my life.When I found out my true orientation it wasn’t hard for me to accept myself, but when I told it to my sister she said: I wished you chose an easier life.She was totally right. But it isn’t an option for me, it is who I really am. In my country where the same-gender relationship is a massive taboo, I found Love! At the age of 22, I met my girlfriend. I found a beautiful soul in Wonderland! It wasn’t an illusion, it was all of the things I hadn’t beside men. There were days and nights both of us had terrible battles on our minds: Who I really am? What if it’s the wrong way I chose? What if our family and friends do not accept us? What if? After a year and half of our relationship, I still have those nightmares that my parents found it out and only God knows what will happen. I should hide my love, I should be careful on my social media, I must hide my identity behind the door of my house.But, ultimately, it’s not the end and I’m sure I will win!”
“Rose petals let us scatter
And fill the cup with red wine
The firmaments let us shatter
And come with a new design”
(Hafez)
