“I was born on 4/4/83,

Family – 9 children

Parents different backgrounds – Masai – Taita

Born in Nairobi and schooled also in Nairobi

At the age of 14 years old I discovered whom I was but I was still confused because I was still young. In college, in 2007 I discovered that I was not allown, many of my friends were like me but they were on the closet.

I only shared my personal feeling with a friend of mine who was called James. But all in all I kept everything in my heart because I was also scared of my African culture.

March 2008 I went to Mombasa to visit my cousin. There I met DAVID at the BEACH – we could only exchange the address. That same day around 8 pm I received a call from Davis saying that I should met him. He stayed the same estate. I met him and that same night he proposed; it was first sight love.

After the whole thing I went back to Nairobi. I mean after the weekend because I worked in Nairobi. David visited me in Nairobi so he agreed we must talk to my mother and father so that I am out of the closet.

We did but my family never agreed with that. It was fighting and arguing. After a month my mother called me and she said she blesses me on what I am doing and she loves me, but my father, uncles, aunts, and brothers sister were against me being gay.

We planned a weeding part to be held on July 2008. We invited our close friends, straight and gay.

Before that we had a pre-weeding party at my place in Nairobi. Our 7 friends showed up, and around 8 pm we heard some shouting outside. I saw a number of my straight friends with many strangers, shouting: “ LETS KILL THIS SHOGAS” – means gay.

They threw a bomb  petrol on my wind and the fire started. Me, David and my 7 friends had to run to my next door-neighbourhood. The lady, Anna – my neighbour called the police.

The next day I left to work, I worked as a librarian, after spending the night at Anna’s.

I received a call from Anna. She told me that the same guys who attacked us last night came to her place and they found David. They sturb him on his chest with a knife and he left him bleeding. Anna called the police they took him to a public hospital and they left him there.

I went straight to the hospital, I founded Davis in a bad state, and I called his brother who was in Nairobi also. After a week they decide to take him back to Mombasa. And I  could received SMS, calls, and e-mails from those friends that they are looking for me and they will find me. They went to my hometown Nanyuck- to threated my mother. Everybody turn there back on me in my village. So I can’t go back, although I have my family there.

I called one of my cousin who was in Cape Town but now shes in Botswana. I explained everything, that my life is in danger because that I couldn’t even go to work, they will go there looking for me.

My cousin had connexion with travel agents in Nairobi, so I only gave them my passport and they could get for me a visa. It took three days and I had a visa. I came to South Africa because I knew it was safe. After three months I got an Asylum permit so I worked as a barman. My cousin was married to Botswana so I was left alone.

I tried to make friend with black south Africans but it was not possible, they would call me names: Kwere Kwere- means a refugee without home and Mofi – means a dirty gay.

One day I was working late shifts and after work I left to my place. I mean police car and they stopped me asking permit and why am I in South Africa.

One of them came out of the car and searching me. He took my wallet but I tried to stop him. He slapped me and he got in the car and sped off. I was scared to  report. Also, my neighbour would come to me and said that if Mandela dies I should go back to Kenya.

Anyway I moved to a different place, which was mist colloureds  and whites. It was good there until last year. I lost my job. I went to Home Affairs to renew my permit by the lady just denied me to permit.

So, I had to look for a cheaper place to stay. I choose DELFTS  – it’s a township. There, life became hard for me until now. I can’t find a job without a permit, my neighbours never accepted me. They call me name. This year, February I was attacked by two guys on my street, Around 5 pm. They took my phone and stabbed me on my arm.

Am scared to get in the taxi, when I see it’s only black South Africans they will speak in there language if I don’t answer I am call names and they threatened me.

Life in South Africa is worse to me because I can’t find peace I thought I will. And also, on top of that, I can’t pay my rent because I am not working. Sometimes, my landlady locks my house so I am forced to sleep outside.

As I write this story am only given to stay in this house until Sunday, three days from now. From there, I will be homeless and it is very rough outside there at night me, being a foreigner. I stay without food for days and it’s tempting for me to commit suicide. I hope I will survive. They stole everything from me: Travelling bags, clothes- Everything.”